Sexual intercourse can be a source of both pleasure and anxiety. The feeling of insecurity often arises once we engage in it. We tend to believe in sexual myths that promote the idea of prolonged penetration, lasting for hours, and going all night. However, there is no fixed duration for sex, and the popular notion may not be accurate. The average preferred duration of a sexual session may be shorter than what one assumes, and it can differ based on personal preference and the definition of sex. Read on to learn about how long does sex last, the factors that influence it and tips.
How Long Should Sex Last?
The duration of sex is subjective and can be determined by the preferences of both partners. The ideal length of sex depends on one’s definition of sex. Based on a survey, vaginal sex lasting from 7 to 13 minutes is considered desirable. Anything shorter than one to two minutes is deemed “too short,” 3 to 7 minutes is considered “adequate,” and anything beyond 10 to 30 minutes is considered “too long.”
What Can Affect How Long Sex Lasts?
1. Age
As a person ages, the duration of time between the start of vaginal intercourse and ejaculation may decrease. It means that individuals with penises tend to reach orgasm faster as they get older. Moreover, as age advances, getting aroused or achieving an erection may become more difficult for some individuals.
2. Sexual Function And Overall Health
Sexual function and overall health play a significant role in the duration of sex. Certain issues, such as pain during or after sex, and premature ejaculation, can limit how long sex lasts.
- Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a common issue where men have trouble getting or keeping an erection, which affects the duration of sex.
- Premature ejaculation (PE) is another sexual dysfunction where a man ejaculates sooner than he or his partner would like.
- Negative feelings about sexuality can also cause performance anxiety, leading to ED or PE, or even avoidance of sex altogether.
3. Level Of Arousal
The level of arousal before sex, as well as the type of sexual activity, can impact how long it takes to reach orgasm. Inadequate arousal before sex can make it harder for an individual with a clitoris to have an orgasm, while a stimulating blow job can help an individual with a penis reach orgasm faster.
4. Drugs And Alcohol
Using substances can affect sexual desire, arousal, and the ability to orgasm. For individuals with penises, excessive drinking may make it harder to get or maintain an erection or reach orgasm. For those with clitorises, alcohol can increase testosterone levels, which triggers more desire but decreases genital responsiveness, making it harder to become aroused and have an orgasm.
5. Context
The duration of sex can vary based on the situation, partner, relationship, and other contextual factors. A person might reach orgasm faster when they are focused, aroused, and with a partner who knows their body well. In contrast, it might take longer to have an orgasm when distracted, anxious, or unable to relax with their partner.
6. Sexual Orientation
Same-sex couples tend to have longer sex than other types of couples.
How To Reduce The Duration Of Sex?
If sex is lasting longer than desired, communication with your partner is key. Though it may not be easy, discussing concerns about your sex life is a great starting point. Remember, your partner wants the experience to be enjoyable for you as well.
Here are some additional tactics:
1. Touch Yourself During Partnered Sex
If you know how to make yourself orgasm, don’t hesitate to touch yourself during sex. You can stimulate your clitoris during intercourse or use your hand to get yourself over the edge. You can also try mutual masturbation, where both partners pleasure themselves, achieving climax more quickly while remaining intimate.
2. Communicate Your Needs
Expressing what you need to achieve orgasm can be helpful. Tell your partner what you need, and they may be able to adjust their actions accordingly.
3. Try Your Favorite Position
If certain positions feel better for you, try them out to reach orgasm faster. This might involve deeper penetration or making it easier to manually pleasure yourself or your partner.
4. Consider Using Sex Toys And Lubricant
Vibrators and sex toys can aid in faster orgasms for women. Bringing them into the bedroom and incorporating them during intercourse can enhance pleasure for both partners. Using lubricant can also make things more comfortable and increase arousal.
5. Avoid Masturbating Before Partnered Sex
For people with penises, masturbating earlier in the day may make it harder to ejaculate later with a partner. It might also take longer to ejaculate a second time. So, if you plan on having sex, it’s best to skip the morning masturbation.
6. Explore Different Ways To Increase Stimulation
Try exploring specific interests or kinks and using media that can increase arousal. This can add a new level of excitement to sex and help you achieve orgasm more quickly.
How To Increase The Duration Of Sex?
1. Utilize lubrication
Extended vaginal intercourse can cause discomfort due to loss of natural lubrication, so use lubrication to avoid this.
2. Consistently Communicate Sexual Needs And Desires
Open communication about what you and your partner need to achieve orgasm can help you both.
3. Try The Squeeze Technique
When you feel close to ejaculation, have your partner squeeze the base of your penis to stop the urge to ejaculate. Repeat as needed.
4. Practice The Stop-start Method
Pause sexual activity when close to ejaculation and resume once the urge passes. With practice, you can learn to control the urge and prolong intercourse.
5. Vary Stimulation
Alternating stimulation and switching positions can prolong pleasure and prevent quick orgasms.
6. Prioritize Foreplay
Focus on stimulating each other before penetration to extend the experience and increase pleasure.
Conclusion
The misconception perpetuated by pop culture and other factors is that the longer sex lasts, the better it is. However, the duration of sex does not necessarily indicate its quality. What truly matters is open communication between partners regarding what feels good and satisfying for them. When both individuals prioritize each other’s pleasure and maintain open communication, the overall experience of sex is generally enhanced.
